TESTIMONY TIME

Hi there! My name is Madison. Writing a bio/testimony is kind of daunting. I'm like, ' wait who am I?'  Lol, I am just kidding, I know who I am in Jesus!! To start, I am 18 years old and I have just graduated high school at Smith Mountain Lake Christian Academy. Great school, highly recommend. Before this, I was homeschooled until third grade and then my younger brother and I were placed in Christian schools. Our family has been in and around church my whole life. I have three siblings and loving parents! In short, I am extremely blessed to have had the saturating Biblical upbringing I was given. From a different perspective, because of this upbringing, it had been difficult to decipher who Jesus was to me. From afar, I knew who He was and I knew what He taught. I knew what church was. What I did not understand, was what He had done, for me, and for the world. The actual caliber of it. Never fully grasping the weight of the whole Gospel, I traveled through my teenage years confused and without purpose.

When I was in second grade, my parents came home from a mission's trip in Mexico to hear me say "Missionaries sleep on the ground, I would never be a missionary."

Fast forward to my sophomore year summer camp, I found myself committing to missions and ministry when I did not even have a real glimpse of who Jesus was on a personal level. But that is the wondrous grace of the Lord. He was foreshadowing on what He was going to do with my life.

Continuing on high school in habitual sin, confusion, and self-idolization, I searched for worth and validation in every place. From boys to sports to secular ideologies. At that point, I knew I was empty because I was void of Jesus. Repentance prayer after repentance prayer, I could never gain enough "spiritual traction" to sustain me. Eventually I gave up and continued on in my worldly lifestyle.

That was until Summer of '23, I was in my bathroom one day and I heard an internal voice say, "I love you." It was so quiet and gentle. Not knowing what to do with it, I simply remembered the moment. Soon after, my family and I started a new church. We walked in and the first worship song contained these lyrics,

"If You say "it's wrong", then I'll say "no"

If You say "release", I'm letting go

If You're in it with me, I'll begin

And when You say to jump, I'm diving in

If You say "be still", then I will wait

If You say to trust, I will obey

I don't wanna follow my own ways

I'm done chasing feelings

Spirit lead me

My mind lingered on those words on that screen longer than I wanted. Conviction set in, and I went home and tried to fix things myself. For example, distancing myself from sinful friends. Again, it did not sustain me. No matter how hard I tried I could not break the strongholds on my life. Of course I couldn't.

At this new church once more, the message was on something I had never comprehended. It was this equation, Sin + Grace = Salvation and Acceptance, and that is unlocked by our faith and trust. HOLD ON PAUSE. You mean to tell me that I don't have to do anything to earn Jesus' grace? How is that possible? I thought I have to pray and read my Bible though? When I tell you that BREAKTHROUGH happened that Sunday. God tore through the lies of legalism and the lie that I had believed my whole life that I had to earn favor with God. He showed me that His perfect humility is what allowed His blood to drip and cover all of my sins. I receive that by simply believing that Jesus was enough. WOAH!! Jesus called me to Himself that week. The Holy Spirit restored me. It was a process of learning who He is and how to remain in His perfect love by simply laying down the need to fix my sin myself. My relationship with Jesus has grown into something that I will never be able to ignore again. His true love is a dream. You can have it too. He is right there waiting for you to trust that He is enough to save you. He is!!! 

After this transformation, one of my parent's friends told my mom about an organization that her daughter went through. It was called YWAM or Youth With a Mission. I learned that it was a 6 month training school on how to spread the Gospel. To my ears, it sounded perfect but too far out of reach. To my parent's ears, it sounded like a "no."

For the first couple of months I prayed this, " Lord, YWAM or Liberty University Psychology, or neither just tell me where you want me." YWAM was really heavy on my heart but I was not sure if I just really wanted to do that or if He was leading me there.

One Sunday at the new church, we sat down with a family that we have never met. The wife asked me what I wanted to do with my life, I told her that I was interested in YWAM and she nearly screamed. She told my family and I that she did YWAM right after High school and that it was the best thing that has happened to her. Next, she asked me where I was thinking about doing it and I told her Hawaii. She nearly screamed a second time. The base she had gone to was Hawaii too!! She raved about it. With this, God's direction was slowly starting to chip away at my mine and my parent's hearts.

That Sunday I applied to YWAM Kona,

Still, I just wanted to remain and go where Jesus wanted me so I continued ask Him to guide me in His direction. 

A month later, My dad and I were hanging out at home. I was low-key trying to win him over to YWAM, so I brought it up and started showing him videos of their ministry. As he was being really receptive of it all, I was shocked and quite encouraged. What I did not know was that He was battling extreme health anxiety that night. He told my mom that as soon as I started talking about YWAM, his anxiety disappeared. First of all, Jesus did a miracle, second of all we were both convinced of YWAM.

Some months go by and doubt began to creep in. I had not gotten a letter of acceptance from the organization and I was craving some stability. I had not given it a thought to apply to Liberty all senior year but a particular day in December I decided in my mind that I was going to apply to Liberty when I got home. I told my parents and my oldest sister Moriah. While my sister and I were in my room, I continued to tell her why I was going to apply to LU for some stability, I suddenly get an email notification, I look to read it. It was my acceptance email from YWAM! GUYS, God is SO good!! I still can't get over it. Remember what I said in second grade? I would never be a missionary. Well, the Enemy did not win that battle over my life. Jesus did. I am on a journey, we all are, of what we fix our gaze towards. My gaze is on Jesus' face. My gaze is not on my life or my "calling." Our calling and purpose is to know and be known by our Creator and then to share Him with others. That is my testimony. As these months continue on, I hope to update you on the beautiful and radical things that Jesus does. But also the gentle and practical lessons that he teaches me. I pray that everyone who reads this will come to relationship with the Father. As a teenager in Gen-Z, I can attest to the absolute fact that there is nothing better than the radical love of Jesus Christ.

YOU are actually loved. Seriously, I am not just saying that. Your Creator loves what He made and it is a fact. Lean into it.